Just a quick note today: I happened upon something that seems to have reduced cravings yesterday. I had a late-afternoon swim, and when I got back all I wanted was water — definitely NOT anything alcoholic. So I had water and an apple. No cravings, all evening. Trying it again today!
I do find, however, that just not having any booze in the house is the best. That totally dials the cravings wwwaaaaay back.
I’m picking up on one of the comment threads on my last post, where the suggestion is made that I’ve hit upon a “formula” to come back to life as I want it, that formula being staring down the monster while it’s in the room with you, and then moving on — seeing the “relapse” as an aberration, not an excuse to go nuts again.
The formula isn’t original with me. Every diet book in the world says the same thing: if you Continue reading
So I finally broke, caved, gave in. Not to the “what the hell” part of me, as I’d feared, but to the “I can’t stand it any more, if I don’t have a drink I am going to lose my mind trying so hard to resist it all the time”. I had the usual ceremonial sip of wine at Shabbat dinner at my next-door neighbours’ place. At the end of the evening they offered me the half-bottle of wine left over from the meal … and I wavered, then accepted … and had 2 glasses when I Continue reading
My sobriety hangs by a slender, slender thread today, as I hover on the knife-edge between desire and self-worth. Desire — desperate, overwhelming desire for alcohol. Self-worth — that which ultimately stops me in my tracks. The only thing stopping me now — the only thing that has been stopping me for the past week — is fear, no, terror, of what will happen if I give in to the craving for just one sip of wine. The script running in the Continue reading
Driving my own bus 